Not today... but then again, it's not even noon
2) Do you hate more than 3 people?
You, yo momma and Al Greene
3) How many houses have you lived in?
I don't believe in roofs- currently I'm campin out in a tent outside a baptist church.
9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD?
I own a lock of her hair
10) Have you ever thrown up in public?
Just once... and it wasn't so much "in public" as on camera... There was also another girl and a cup involved, but I don't need to go into the details.
11) Name something that is always on your mind?
Sex
12) Favorite genre of music?
Bulgarian folk-pop
13) What is your zodiac sign?
Sagittarius- the luckiest of the signs
14) What time were you born?
I don't know! I have blocked out any and all memories involving my mother's vagina.
15) Do you like someone?
Well, since you asked, I've been harboring a bit of a crush on Sarah Palin...
16) Have you made a prank phone call?
The Jerky Boys learned all they know from me
17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
My personal karaoke recordings of Bruce ''the Boss" Springsteen's greatest hits.
18) Are you sarcastic?..
no
19) What are your favorite color(s)?:
Purple
20) How many watches do you own?
I don't need a watch. I tell time through the chip implanted in my head
21) Summer or winter?
Fall
22) Is anyone in love with you?
Duh
23) Favorite color to wear?
Paisley
24) Pepsi or Sprite?
Shouldn't you be asking Pepsi or Coke?
26) Where is your second home?
A villa in St Barts
27) Have you ever slapped someone?
Joan Collins would be proud of my slapping skills
29) How many lamps are in your bedroom?
Two, one that's not plugged in and the other who's bulb went out last week
30) How many video games do you own?
?
31) What was your first pet?
A rock
32) Where do you want to live when you're older?
Take meta mars!
33) Do looks matter?
Only if you're hot
34) Do you use chapstick?
yes, but only on my thighs
36) Abercrombie or American Eagle?
I can't spell either
37) Are you too forgiving?
Three strikes, you're out. Four, and you're looking at loosin a finger
38) How many children do you want?
enough to keep my house clean
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic?
maybe... I shoplifted a pair of shoes from there once
40) Favorite breakfast meal?
A big ole bowl of oatmeal, followed by a big ole bowl of weed
Oh, MJ, how I miss you...
41) Do you own a gun?
Just these two! Got your tickets to the gun show yet??
42) Ever thought you were dead?
Yeah, as I floated above my unconscious body
43) When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday, but I was getting dental surgery with no anesthesia
44) What did you do 5 nights ago?
I sniff to much glue to remember that far back
45) Olive Garden?
That's not a real question
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy?
Only in bed...
47) Have you ever been in a castle?
I live in one
48) Nicknames?
Sexi boi
49) Do you know anyone named Gertrude or Bertha?
That's what I call my left pinky toe and my right elbow! Respectivly
50) Ever been to Kentucky?
Twice last june for some drug runnin
51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?
I own a young Banana picker from the dominican republic...
41) Do you own a gun?
Just these two! Got your tickets to the gun show yet??
42) Ever thought you were dead?
Yeah, as I floated above my unconscious body
43) When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday, but I was getting dental surgery with no anesthesia
44) What did you do 5 nights ago?
I sniff to much glue to remember that far back
45) Olive Garden?
That's not a real question
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy?
Only in bed...
47) Have you ever been in a castle?
I live in one
48) Nicknames?
Sexi boi
49) Do you know anyone named Gertrude or Bertha?
That's what I call my left pinky toe and my right elbow! Respectivly
50) Ever been to Kentucky?
Twice last june for some drug runnin
51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?
I own a young Banana picker from the dominican republic...
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now?
mm.... Karl Rove...
53) Ever called somebody Boo?
of course
54) Do you own a diamond ring?
One for each finger and two per toe
55) Do you want to witness a tornado?
I want to swim in the middle of one... I've written to the make a wish foundation three times about it already
56) Are you happy with your life right now?
For the most part...
SCHOOL SUCKS
57) Do you like your hair?
57) Do you like your hair?
I like my eyelashes...
58) Does anyone have a crush on you?
probably
60) What were you doing on May 8th of 1994?
playing doctor with my curious neighbor
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD?
All six
62) McDonalds or Wendys?
Subway?
64) Are you closer to your mother or father?
Mother
65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex?
Knees
66) Are you afraid of the dark?
I love that show!
67) Have you ever eaten paste?
I'll try anything twice
70) Ever broke a bone?
my pinky toe slipping on a plastic wal mart bag
71) Are you religious?
religion is a human institution
uh I think we skipped number 72?
58) Does anyone have a crush on you?
probably
60) What were you doing on May 8th of 1994?
playing doctor with my curious neighbor
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD?
All six
62) McDonalds or Wendys?
Subway?
64) Are you closer to your mother or father?
Mother
65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex?
Knees
66) Are you afraid of the dark?
I love that show!
67) Have you ever eaten paste?
I'll try anything twice
70) Ever broke a bone?
my pinky toe slipping on a plastic wal mart bag
71) Are you religious?
religion is a human institution
uh I think we skipped number 72?
I think so too... I wonder how offensive it was?!?
73) Pringles or Lays?:
Anything's better than plain lays... except pizza pringles
74) Have you ever broken someones heart?
I've not just broken it, I've ripped hearts out chests and stomped on them. Literally. Just something I picked up in karate class
uhm once again we're missing a number.
76) Full House or The Brady Bunch?:
Brady Bunch. Uncle Jessie can suck a nut
77) Do you like your high school guidance counseler?
more than life itself
78) Has anyone ever called you a tease?
always
79) Do you have a birth mark?
nope
80) Do you own a car?
yeah, but it's like an inch and a half long and says hot wheels on the side
81) Can you cook?
cereal.... toast....
82) 3 things that annoy you?
misquotes, the smell of wet tires, ottomans (ottomen?)
83) Do you text message often?
always
84) Money or love?
drugs
85) Do you have any scars?
on my face
86) What do you want more than anything right now?
cock
87) Do you enjoy scary movies?
not as much as porn... but scary porn is the best
where the fuck is question 88?!
73) Pringles or Lays?:
Anything's better than plain lays... except pizza pringles
74) Have you ever broken someones heart?
I've not just broken it, I've ripped hearts out chests and stomped on them. Literally. Just something I picked up in karate class
uhm once again we're missing a number.
76) Full House or The Brady Bunch?:
Brady Bunch. Uncle Jessie can suck a nut
77) Do you like your high school guidance counseler?
more than life itself
78) Has anyone ever called you a tease?
always
79) Do you have a birth mark?
nope
80) Do you own a car?
yeah, but it's like an inch and a half long and says hot wheels on the side
81) Can you cook?
cereal.... toast....
82) 3 things that annoy you?
misquotes, the smell of wet tires, ottomans (ottomen?)
83) Do you text message often?
always
84) Money or love?
drugs
85) Do you have any scars?
on my face
86) What do you want more than anything right now?
cock
87) Do you enjoy scary movies?
not as much as porn... but scary porn is the best
where the fuck is question 88?!
gone, daddy, gone
89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit?
sounds like a pair of two dollar whores
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies?
none of them
89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit?
sounds like a pair of two dollar whores
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies?
none of them
92) Do you own a box of crayons?
I wish I did....
93) Are you in a complicated relationship?
every relationship is complicated. Especially the one between me and the mail man...
94)
que?
95) Who was the last person that made you mad?
Charlie Koffman
96) Who was the last person that made you cry?
James Earl Jones
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh?
Ry Ry. Hit that bitch, homeboy!
98) Who was the last person that texted you?
Micky Rorke
99) Who was the last person you called?
Krystal Lite
100) Who was the last person to call you?
The Austin Police Dept... but I didn't answer.
95) Who was the last person that made you mad?
Charlie Koffman
96) Who was the last person that made you cry?
James Earl Jones
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh?
Ry Ry. Hit that bitch, homeboy!
98) Who was the last person that texted you?
Micky Rorke
99) Who was the last person you called?
Krystal Lite
100) Who was the last person to call you?
The Austin Police Dept... but I didn't answer.
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