...

So...

I quit school. And now... what?

That thought has been freaking me out for the last week. It's why I haven't blogged. I told myself I would write something about my future plans and goals now that I have that taken education of the way to free up my time. But... I haven't had anything to say.

I know dropping out was the right thing for me and I'm going to have a goal to move toward and be successful at that, if only because there is no way I would ever not be successful at life, but this middle period, this limbo called young adulthood, college years, early twenties... this is the place I'm stuck and it's a little scary.

I feel like it* is right there in front of me in the dark, so my fingertips slash the air just in front of it... I feel like I'm walking out of my house missing something, but I can't remember what... like I'm staring at two slightly different pictures in the back of a coloring book, knowing something's missing.... but what? 

I don't know. 

I need to clear my head and go sit somewhere and conquer this thing, this monster dark cloud crowding the back of my mind.

A one month plan...

A six month plan...

A year plan...

Fuck the five year plan, because I hope I'm doing something in five years that I can't even imagine today. 

But I do need to make the other plans, because I'm not sleeping. I get insomnia when I have too much on my brain. And I do.

I need to take some time... somewhere... and think about this for a while. 

More later.

*It being something I need to work towards. Whatever it is I'm going to do with my life. What I'm going to do tomorrow. My goals. My future.